mekka blue

At a party.

For the first time in years, we’ve been in the same room together again, just a couple of meters away from each other. I felt like getting up, walking over and saying hello. But I didn’t dare to. And I have a feeling it was the right decision.
I was not nervous or anything. Perhaps a little excited. Actually, I was a bit afraid she might react hysterical or something. And that kept me seated. Hm. I remember the very last message I ever got from her (via friends) was something on the line of not wanting me in her life anymore. Well, and honestly, I am not interested in her, so I don’t really have any problem with that.
Just the fact that she’s one of the very few people on this planet who explicitly seek distance from me gives me the feeling of an unintentional violation of an unwritten law when she happens to walk into the same room that I happen to be in. And don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel like I made a mistake. It’s more like an impersonal disturbance in the force, to put it like that.
Alright, enough already, I’m giving this whole crap far more space than it deserves, so I’ll leave it where it’s at.

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